Comment on Literary Agent Picture Book Query Letter by David Law.
Completely missed a grammar mistake in the literary agent query I’d probably be sending to agents soon. Fortunately I posted a link to the above article on Facebook and one of my FB friends posted a comment:
Families greedy goat or family’s greedy goat– first line.
Thank you, thank you, thank you Brandon for catching this AND for taking the time to comment.
I made the mistake three times in one query letter, I have a feeling had I sent it out the agents would have noticed!
The offending Families vs Family’s grammar mistakes:
The Addison families (should be family’s) greedy goat has stolen a button from a coat, ruined Mom’s cherished wedding things and of course munched on Dad’s new toupee. Dad now looks like a funky punk and has had enough, That Greedy Goat Just Cannot Stay!
Follow the families (should be family’s) hilarious adventure as they fail to re-home their greedy goat at a farm, petting zoo, old junk yard and a garden with a moat. On the verge of giving up the goat finds it’s place in the world as a hair stylist to royalty in a nice boutique.
A simple storyline about a greedy goat, BUT the illustrations paint a different picture. Yes, the goat eats flowers and hair, but he is wrongly accused of taking the button, Mom’s wedding things and most of the ensuing chaos. The goat is a patsy, a dupe, a scapegoat if you will, the real culprit is the families (should be family’s) cunning sheep!
A thought provoking story with a twist at the end that will appeal to parents and children (ages 4-8) who love read aloud rhyming picture books.
This is a simultaneous submission, the full 461 word manuscript is below, with a link to example illustrations below the MS.
Embrace your mistakes and learn from them. Oh and make friends with people who are better at grammar than you :-)
David Law
